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Personal Issues

Demands of the role

The demands placed on you as a College Leader will mean that you have less time available for study. This should not mean that you do less study. Time management and setting goals are very important. If you have problems with your study please talk these through with the Head of College. With good planning College Leaders can perform better.

Sometimes the demands placed on College Leaders by those in need may become overwhelming. Please keep in contact with the Head of College on these matters. Your health and academic success are very important, and the Head of College does not want these to suffer because of College demands.

When you are caring for others you can sometimes feel that no one is caring for you. In trying to appear that you are strong and doing well with the floor you may feel that you are not coping yourself and that no one else knows. It is important therefore to be open with other College Leaders about how you are feeling, be frank at meetings, and discuss things with the Head of College. Please remember that the Head of College is really the College Leader for College Leaders! In other words, you are not on your own. The counsellors at Student Health are of course also available should you feel you need their assistance in dealing with a personal issue.

Relationships with College Leaders

Get to know each other socially. The College Leader training programme is designed to help you get to know each other so that you can support each other. While you may not all be close friends (though often you will be), it is important that a level of mutual understanding and respect exists.

You should be prepared to help your colleagues in addition to rostered duties. Above all you are a team and whether you are close friends or not you will need to work as a team.

Romantic/sexual involvement with other College Leaders

Romantic involvement with other College Leaders may be destructive to a team. It is better to avoid such involvement or put it on hold until you have left the College.

Romantic/sexual involvement with Members

New romantic and/or sexual relationships – whether in person or electronically (e.g. sexting) - with Members is not permitted while you are a College Leader. Relationships with Members must be put on hold until after you have left the College.

Counselling other College Leaders

College Leaders should note that they are not counsellors, pastors, doctors, or lawyers for other College Leaders. This situation is no different than if they arise with Members; refer the person to the appropriate professional should you be entering into territory that in your judgement requires specialised assistance. Of course, you should continue to provide your usual friendly support to the other person plus a listening ear. Should you have any concerns in this regard, please discuss things with the Head of College.

Relationships with friends

Being a College Leader can lead to tension in friendships formed in your first year. This happens for a variety of reasons. Some of them may be jealous that you were appointed to the position and they were not. Others might be envious of the bond the College Leader team shares, and feel that this in some way impacts on their relationship with you. It may be that you come across as too authoritarian, or that you are spending less time with them because of the pressures of the job. Whatever the reason, it is a common experience. Below are some tips that may help to ease any tension if not circumvent the issue entirely.

  • It is a good idea to have a brief chat with close friends before any problem arises. Explain that you will be spending a lot of time with the College Leaders and bonding with your floor, especially at the start of the year. This means your friends will have a clear expectation of what kind of stress you are under.
  • You should also explain to them that your College Leader role may mean you have to have a chat with them about any behaviour they may exhibit which is contrary to College expectations! They need to understand that you are merely doing your job. Ask them to not put you in an awkward position!
  • Consciously make time for friends. Where possible spend time with them out of the College so you are away from your College Leader role.

If you do have any problems with friends, have a chat with other College Leaders, particularly the experienced ones, as they may well have been in the same or similar situations the previous year. If you still need further advice on dealing with this situation discuss it with the Head of College.